If I were...

If I were a month, I'd be: May.
If I were a day of the week, Thursday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 5:55.
If I were a planet, I'd be: Saturn.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: Manatee (Seapig).
If I were a direction, I'd be: Over There.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: Throw pillow.
If I were a sin, I'd be: Gluttony.
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: John F KennyD.
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Cider.
If I were a tree, I'd be: Weeping Willow.
If I were a bird, I'd be: Shagadelic.
If I were a flower, I'd be: Unbleached Wheat.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Partly Clowdy.
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: Gnome.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: Two Turntables and a microphone (OMG EUPHAMISM).
If I were an animal, I'd be: Elephant.
If I were a color, I'd be: Purple.
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Cheerful.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Asparagus.
If I were a sound, I'd be: The noise right before the money comes out of the ATM.
If I were an element, I'd be: Phosphorus.
If I were a car, I'd be: Transportation,
If I were a song, I'd be: Devil's Dance Floor.
If I were a movie, I'd be: Swingers.
If I were a food, I'd be: Casserole.
If I were a place, I'd be: Indo-China.
If I were a material, I'd be: Velour.
If I were a taste, I'd be: Spicy.
If I were a scent, I'd be: Fresh Baked Lasagne.
If I were a word, I'd be: Word.
If I were an object, I'd be: Toys.
If I were a body part, I'd be: Second Knuckle left index finger.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: Perplexed.
If I were a part of a house, I'd be: Den.
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: Math.
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: Chumly.
If I were a shape, I'd be: Elipse.
If I were a number, I'd be: 52.
If I were a TV show I'd be: $40 a Day.
If I were a Celebrity I'd be: Stalked.
If I were a Super Hero I'd be: Savior of CZW.